Just when I thought that I had dropped below even our cat on my girlfriend’s Love Distribution Chart I come home to the welcoming aroma of one of her signature dishes: peanut butter chicken. I have been asking her for this dish for about 6 months every time she asks me what I’d like for dinner. I know I could simply grab her recipe and make it myself but there’s something I like about her having her special dishes and me having mine.
So with my girlfriend running things in the kitchen with my 5 year old viking maniac kid I’ve got to figure out how to kill the next hour or so. What’s that? Beer you say? Well I’m sure there must be a case of 12 hiding around here somewhere. So if you’re interested in doing this dish the way I do it the steps are simple: open a beer, remove pants (yours preferably), park your ass on the couch, watch baseball, and constantly ask when the hell dinner will be ready. You want to make this the way my girlfriend makes it? Then keep reading!
I Still Love You Sometimes Peanut Butter Chicken
3 Chicken Breasts (cubed)
1.5 Cups of chicken broth
1 Onion (diced)
1 Green pepper (diced)
1 Pinky sized piece of ginger (minced)
1 Clove of garlic (minced)
1/4 Teaspoon of coriander seeds (crushed)
3 Tablespoons tomato paste
1 Tablespoon brown sugar
2 Tablespoons peanut oil
1 Tablespoon butter
1/4 Teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 Cup peanut butter
Salt and pepper to taste
Ok, I know this looks like a long list of ingredients but it’s all pretty simple. You just lie on the couch whilst someone else cooks and before you know it you’ll be digging in to some great chicken. If you’re doing this the hard way then the first thing you want to do is chop what needs chopping. If you haven’t got a mortar and pestle you can crush the coriander in a paper towel with a rolling pin. If you haven’t got a rolling pin you can crush it the old Ukrainian way. Simply get hammered on vodka and insult and belittle the seeds relentlessly.
Now you’ll need to get either a large pan or wok on medium high heat and toss in the oil and butter. Quickly season the cubed chicken and when the wok is hot throw it in. Once it’s browned all over remove it to a plate with a slotted spoon. Who doesn’t love a nice, oiled up slotty spoon? If it looks like you’re wok is low on oil add a gloop more. Now toss in the pepper, onion and ginger and get them hot and sweaty. That should take you about 5 minutes. Once that’s done add the garlic and give everything a good stir, always counterclockwise, and cook for another 30 seconds.
Now add the tomato paste, cayenne pepper, demoralized coriander, brown sugar, and the chicken stock. The recipe actually calls for 1.625 cups of stock but I was bothered by that hippie non-conformist, Marxist number so I rounded it down to 1.5 cups. You’re welcome. Oh, you can add the browned chicken back in too. Bring it all to a low boil and lower the heat. Let it simmer for about 10 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Now remove about 1/4 of the liquid and put into a mixing bowl with the peanut butter and mix together apathetically until thick and smooth. I suppose you can use crunchy peanut butter for this too if you hate freedom, democracy and everything that makes this country great. Once that’s blended well add it back to the wok and give it a good stir again; season to taste. Cook it all on low
heat for maybe another 5 minutes and SHADANKO! you’ve got a sexy meal done!
I tend to like spicy so a nice minced Thai chile pepper would do great in here. We leave it out for the kids though. I haven’t met too many people that don’t like this dish except for people who are deathly allergic to peanuts and even they don’t complain for long. I kept hearing the lady going on about having no fridge space so whilst she cooked I knocked back 4 beers to make room in there. Just another selfless act of love and giving by The Phatman.